Blindsided

Cleaning out the closet

2011-03-28T12:50:00.005-05:00

You’ve got company coming over. That’s great! But if you’re anything like me, then that means you have some work to do. That’s right…your place is a disaster and you’d be embarrassed for a yeti man to walk into it, much less your best friends. So, that means you rush home at light speed, fly into your apartment and begin to de-live where you live. Because let’s be honest…the reason it is messy is because you live in it. The mess doesn’t really bother you. It is YOUR mess after all. But, now it suddenly bothers you that someone else is going to witness your mess!

So here is how it works for me: fly into the room, start by picking up and throwing away any trash that may be laying around (paper towels, empty cans or bottles, a yogurt cup that may or may not have been there for a week). Second, you look for the dishes. You’ve got cups and plates scattered around and it is time to hide them. Now, if you’re lucky like me, you have a dishwasher. I just toss those suckers in there and don’t give them a second thought. However, if you actually have to WASH them by HAND…well…I’m sorry. Third, any articles of clothing, shoes or other things that you can’t throw away have to go SOMEWHERE. So here is what I do…I take all that stuff and throw it into my bedroom. When I have company they have absolutely no reason to be in my bedroom so I don’t care if all the junk that used to be in my living room is now piled at the foot of my bed. If you are somehow in my bedroom, then I am probably not there and you must be robbing me. So, stop reading my blog while you are robbing me and…stop robbing me.

There is a final thing that I do before I am comfortable enough with allowing company into my apartment: give the bathroom and once-over. Let’s be honest, I could care less how someone’s living room looks as long as the bathroom is clean. When I go into a bathroom that is gross, then I feel gross. Nobody likes fuzzy sinks, nasty looking toothbrushes, and….well I’m not going to go into any more detail about the bathroom. Just know this: I am not a very cleanly person but if there is one place in my apartment that I want to make sure is clean for company…it’s the bathroom.

Now here is where I find the humor in the entire situation. This whirlwind of company-coming-cleaning is not really “cleaning.” It is just moving the mess from one place to another. I don’t want my friends to see a junked up living room, but I don’t care if it looks like a clothing monster vomited all over my bedroom. I would hate for my friends to dry-gag because my bathroom is nasty but it makes no difference that my closet is a dam about to burst. The truth is: some places in our homes just aren’t as important as others.

Now, maybe you’re not like me and you always maintain a pristine house or living area. Perhaps you take care to see to it that every nook and cranny of your place is sanitary. If that is you, then…oh what am I saying? NOBODY is that good. Everyone has some area in their house or apartment that could use a little work! Are you honestly telling me that you sweep the bottom of your pantry floor or that you wipe out the top shelf in your cupboards? Well then you are either Danny Tanner or a liar. If you truly clean that well then you and I need to talk…about when you can come clean my place.

So all you pigpens like me and all you prissypants (more like my momma, why didn't you pass along those genes!?) keep reading.

God’s been talking to me lately from the book of Joshua in the Old Testament. It is a wild book. Lots of people die, lots of justice, lots of mystery (who the heck are the Anakim!?) and lots of…well…boring stuff in it. It really has a lot of ups and downs. Here are the Josh notes (redneck cliff notes): Joshua is leading the Israelites into the land that God promised to them. All they have to do is go take the land from the current inhabitants and it is done. God tells them that they have to wipe out EVERY PERSON THERE, and ALL THE FALSE GODS. God doesn’t leave any room for mercy in this command. However, what ends up happening is that the Israelites don’t fully get rid of all the natives. Some of them are too hard to get rid of. Some of them are taken as slaves, and some of them are even allowed to live freely.

Israel is told to clean house…but they leave just a few places that are still a little junky.

See my point yet?

Years later God is ticked at Israel because they are worshiping false gods and doing horrid things. If Israel had done what God said and gotten rid of every single pocket of sin then there is a good chance the virus of idol-worship would have never spread in their land.

Where are your pockets of sin? Maybe you maintain a mostly clean lifestyle. Perhaps, for the most part, your lifestyle is clean and everything that everyone sees is suitable to the eye. But do you have any closets that need cleaning out? Is there a sin-monster vomiting all over the place in your bedroom? What parts of your life do you keep hidden and out of the way from people?

I believe that Israel didn’t get to experience God’s full blessing because they didn’t clean house.

What part of God’s blessing are you missing out on because you haven’t cleaned house?

The last time i was REALLY good at something...

2009-08-31T11:40:00.004-05:00

Everyone has had those times in their lives when they realize that what they are doing is EXACTLY what they were made to be doing. Some of us find this talent or ability and pursue it the rest of our lives, making it our ambition to be the best we can be at this particular thing. Many of us only bask in the glory of it for a while until it has run its course or it is no longer fashionable to do so. I am now 26 years old (thats more than a quarter of a century, i know...i'm not really that old but hush) and there are a few things that i feel like i'm pretty good at. But there is one part of my past, one ability that i had, one talent that i feel like will always outshine all of my other abilities. It was the last thing i can recall actually being REALLY good at. Now that you are on the edge of your seat:

Four square.

yes, thats right, four square. The game we all played in middle school intramurals that infuriated most but captured the hearts and minds of many. For whatever reason, i was DANG GOOD at this game. If you were unfortunate enough to be sharing a 4 square court with me then you may as well just give up on the king square, cause its MINE baby! me and my buddy josh knox (i wonder where he is today) used to dominate the courts. We were unbeatable. And whats more, we played by all the REAL rules. If people would complain and ask for bus stops, then that just made us even better!

Honestly, i have no idea why i was so good at the sport.

See, i have a theory. I think that there are some sports that guys like me (you know, hefty folk) prefer over others. Some of these include, but are not limited to, four square, volleyball, racquetball, tennis, and ping pong. I have several theories as to why big guys prefer these sports. One, none of these really require you to "make the team." You can play all these on your own with a friend. Because lets be honest, if you're a big guy, chances are you wouldn't make the team, so sports like basketball and football are out of the question. Second, these sports involve a court that is much smaller than a playing field. The most running that is required of the hefty person is just a quick sprint across a court. There is a reason why big guys don't play soccer. 3rd, most of these do not require much commitment or equipment to play. Thats good, because equipment costs money, and money can be used for other things....like food.

so yeah, i was good at four square, really really good.

and there are times that i sit back and think...why would i give up something that I'm so good at? well, i guess with four square thats an easy one...it just wouldn't be cool for me to go down to the closest middle school and beast on 7th graders.

Now what happens when we lose touch with that which we are best at? We can either sit and moan about it, do stuff that we are only sort of good at, or we can get out there and find something else we excel at. The way i see it, much of our lives are going to be spent doing something that we are only pretty good at. So, how do we fix this problem.

I think the problem exists on where the focus is.

I find myself thinking about the things i was good at and realized most of them were all self-seeking and self-glorifying. What if we began looking at the things we did and how they effected others. We may find out that while we may not be REALLY good at something, the impact it has on others is still tremendous.

So, i'd say, lets focus on the stuff that we can do that is going to be REALLY good for others, and stop trying to just be REALLY good at something.

for now though, i think maybe i'll go beast on some middle schoolers. I haven't made any 6th graders cry recently. that sounds fun.

from the pages of my journal...

2009-03-05T13:41:00.002-06:00

The other night i was laying in bed and didn't feel like reading anything educational. I was more in the mood for mind-numbing dribble...so decided to break out my journal from 2007 and read through some of it.

I think journals are cool, because unless you write stuff down (your thoughts, actions, desires) how are you going to know if you're really growing or getting anywhere years later?

Also, i do not think i'm girly for journaling!

okay. this is only a portion of this day's entry. I was in a kind of sad/depressed mood this day, but i still thought it was rather interesting. I dont necessarily hold these same feelings any more. it was just interesting to see that...at this time...i did.

July 9th, 2007:

"I think it was 4 days ago, I was driving to go get some food, probably more disgusting fast food, and i was alone, and had no plans for the evening and nothing to return to. And i thought to myself: "All of my life, up to this point, every action, moment, every spiritual, physical emotional or even financial transaction had brought me to this EXACT point. Everything right now is exactly as it was meant to be!" Lonely, overweight, financially pinched and going to get unhealthy food just to take back to a dirty room. I said to myself that even though I had 2 good jobs, I would not be an integral loss to either of them if i left. I knew i had goals and dreams, but for the life of me, I could think of nothing. Would I ever be successful, important...needed?

It was depressing to think about the 23 years, almost 24, of my existence leading up to nothing important at all. Some have managed to change the world in moments and in my 24 years so far i had managed to do...nothing.

What i need is an "its a wonderful life moment." I need something to remind me that my life is important, that i am needed, and that i do make a difference in the lives of some people.

But really, that just sounds like some sort of deflated vanity. Who am I to assume that I am important in anyw ay? Doesn't scripture only attribute us as vapors? We are only a breathe in this great expanse that exists in time?

I think, then, that we may not be significant at all...but what IS important are the things that God does through us. It is more important that we allow God to work through us than to do anything this world may attribute as great. Every moment of our lives should be spent with an openness and willingness for God to put our worthless, no value, unimportant and wispy days to use for something invaluable, something eternal...something good.

blessings

2008-12-04T14:17:00.002-06:00

I love to preach. God knows that. So, whenever He allows me to do that, its an incredible blessing.

Since i started at Arapaho Road Baptist Church God has given me 4 opportunities to preach. Its been wonderful. I'm not saying that the sermons themselves are wonderful, but just the fact that God would allow a silly, unworthy guy like me to be the messenger of His Word.

My most recent sermon was on Nov. 9th. its one of those good ol fashioned REPENT sermons. for reals. I preached it...mostly because i needed to hear it.

and hey, now you can listen to it. and let me know what you think, really. cause, i need some criticism if i'm going to improve. here's the link for it:

http://www.arbcgarland.com/sermons/20081109.htm - Mark 1:1-8 Building God's highway

And, just for kicks, here are the links to the three other sermons.

http://www.arbcgarland.com/sermons/20080713.htm

http://www.arbcgarland.com/sermons/20080720.htm

http://www.arbcgarland.com/sermons/20081019.htm

so, while your'e kickin around, studying, or whatever...give em a listen. :)

my sermon

2008-11-05T22:21:00.003-06:00

a couple of weeks ago i preached from Ephesians 5 at my church. It was a very difficult sermon, but one God had convicted me of.

you can go listen to it at arbcgarland's website here.

give it a listen, give me some feedback.

i'm a young preacher, so i'd also welcome some feedback on style, pointers, stuff like that.

oh and if that link doesn't work, for some reason, just go to http://www.arbcgarland.com/sermons/20081019.htm

josh's thoughts on the election

2008-11-05T14:39:00.002-06:00

well, in light of the election there have been many blogs/notes/whatever posted. so i thought i would contribute with a short one.

ooookie dokie.

thats it. what'd ya think?

Wuv....twue wuv

2008-10-28T12:53:00.004-05:00

I could sit through the entire movie just to see the scene with the old guy priest conducting the ceremony between that scaliwag humperdink and princess buttercup. It’s a great movie, it truly is.

I'll be honest, "wuv" or….love…isn't necessarily one of the things that I know a lot about. I can tell you with complete honesty that the truest love I have ever known has been the love between my family members. When I was just a little bigger than a wee little tot (there was a time when I was little…it was somewhere between the ages of 3rd trimester and 2 years old) my dad and I developed a code language. Dad thought it would be cool if he and I could say "I love you to one another" in a way that wouldn't be embarrassing around my friends. The code we developed was "how bout them cowboys!?" to this day, we still sign emails and stuff like that with "how bout them cowboys!?" (despite the fact that they stink like doo doo.) What my dad may have never realized is that I was never, and have never been embarrassed to tell him that I love him.

So outside of the family relationship, I'll be honest and say that I'm pretty undecided about whether or not I've actually been "in love." Sometimes I believe I have been, but then sometimes I'm just not sure. A lot of people give us their opinions on what "true love" is. I always throw up a little when I hear one of these silly clichés. "love is your heart finding its counterpart in another"….pause….*josh vomits*

On the topic of love, we all know the Bible says MUCHO. Now, I'm going to surprise you and NOT go straight to 1 Corinthians 13. We've heard that every year on the Sunday before valentine's day and every wedding that we've all been forced to go to. (single people hate weddings by the way. Nothing quite as exciting as getting up a little earlier than normal on Saturday, getting all dressed up and going to feel lonely for a couple of hours. Sure, we're happy for you, but please…just don’t tell us how happy you are. Cause we're jealous.)

Instead, look at Colossians 3. Verse 12 through 14 are pretty cool. Verse 12 gives us several traits that we should exhibit as Christians like compassion and gentleness. All in all, it seems like verse 12 is ordering us to be nice people. Crazy that we would need to be nice huh? There are times when we need to take a look at the sun (or if you're worried about your retinas, look at the moon) and be reminded…those things aren't revolving around me. For crying out loud, we can all be so selfish sometimes. (some of you reading this are thinking, "josh, you are the king of selfishness." to you i say, you're right and i'm sorry.) What do you think would happen if suddenly, for one day, everyone was only concerned with making others happy? Now, you need to understand that verse 13 builds on 12 when Paul commands us to be forgiving of one another. Colossians says that we need to forgive others just like Christ forgave us. Now stop and think, is there anything that Christ hasn't forgiven you for? If you're a little slow…the answer is no. So…is there anything that we shouldn't forgive others for!? Again…for the slow kids…no.

I know, that’s not easy. People do really mean and hurtful things. People are stupid and idiotic. People are sinful.

Forgiving them is NOT easy…but its what we're told to do. If you are saying in your head right now "no, if someone did this to me…I could never forgive them." you may feel that way now, but can you honestly tell me, in light of this scripture, that its okay to not forgive someone? I don’t think so. I'm not saying I'm good at doing this, I'm just thinking that this is what the scripture says. And since 13 builds on 12, then it looks like we'd never be able to forgive people for ANYTHING if we're not exhibiting all the traits in 12 first! How can you be a forgiving person if you're not a compassionate person? Or a gentle person? A humble person? A patient person?

This takes us now to 14. Back to Wuv…twue wuv. Paul tells us to love one another, that love is the "perfect bond of unity." nice. That means if you're genuinely loving someone then unity is going to be easy. Strife can be dealt with, we can get upset but it never threatens the unity that we have.

Now when I read this…it didn't dawn on me at first, but after realizing that these 3 verses build on one another, I had a "come to Jesus meeting" about what I believe about true love. Listen to this: just as much as we can't be forgiving people without exhibiting the traits of v. 12, but we will NEVER experience true love until we can be forgiving. To love someone else you have to remove selfishness and exhibit v.12 traits. But when it comes to love, we can never love someone until we know we can forgive them.

The truth I believe that can be found in this passage is this: You should never ever ever look at someone and tell them you love them without knowing that there is NOTHING that person could do that you could never forgive them for. No matter how they treat you, no matter what they do, no matter where they go, desertion, cheating, lying, stealing, abuse, all of that.

I know, its not easy, and I'm not saying that if someone is doing this that you have to put up with it, but you DO have to forgive them (I didn't say that, Paul did, God did.) God has forgiven us for everything, He isn't going to tolerate everything, but He has forgiven us.

I hope that one day I'll be able to look at someone and tell them "I love you." But I never want to do that until I can do v.12 and v.13 exactly right. Have I loved before? Based on this criteria…I think so. I think so. When I think of those I have said I love, I know that I could never stop loving them, no matter what circumstance I'm in or where they are. With my family….of course. I will always love them.

Okay, so…thoughts?

preaching on the streets: do or don't?

2008-08-24T18:08:00.002-05:00

Hey here’s something interesting. As I write this I’m 34,000 ft in the air! I’ll be honest, I’m not a big fan of flying, but here I am. I’m like many people, if God had intended us to fly he would have given or super powers, or we’d have been born with rocket-packs on our backs. I have neither. Well, I do have a super power. X-ray vision. That’s right, x-ray vision. Except, I don’t really have good control over it, so I never use it. I may try to see through a wall or something and I just end up seeing through the whole building and usually, when I look at people, all I see are their skeletons, and that’s just not cool. You’d think it’d be a neat superpower, instead it just makes me sick.

Okay I don’t really have a super-power. I just like to think about what it’d be like if superman was an idiot. I mean, I think we’re pretty lucky that clark kent got the powers and I didn’t. He may be talented enough to leap tall buildings in a single bound, but I’m not. Also I’m too lazy. I’d only use my super-powers to occasionally help a friend of mine move or something.

enough about that random stuff. I’m basically only rambling because flying makes me nervous.

I’ve been in Atlanta this weekend for a conference with the ERC. That’s a program of the North American Mission Board where they enable you to witness to people over the phone. It’s a really cool deal. Someone calls because they’ve heard the Gospel and they are responding to it, you just reap the harvest! And then you turn in their information and NAMB will help them get connected with a local church body. (that’s for you nay-sayers who say there is no follow up! So you can quit saying nay!) it’s a great ministry, so if anyone wants in on it, let me know and I can help get you started.

While I was there, I was asked to do several things. Someone in the group caught wind that I used to lead worship so they asked me to lead the worship in the mornings. That was all fine and dandy, except I didn’t have my guitar. My guitar is kinda like my blankey. Its my safety net. I had to lead these people singing accopella! I’m sure that’s not how to spell that. It went okay though. My other assignment was to be on a Q&A panel. I had no idea what the panel was supposed to address, but there I sat in front of everyone. And I was sitting next to Alvin Reid. He’s the guy who wrote a lot of your Evangelism books. I felt really out of place. But he was really cool! As a matter of fact, we’re friends on facebook now. You know, that’s a symbol of true friendship right there.

Speaking of friends, Its hard without them.…………………………………(contemplative pause)

Okay, onto the topic: One of the other guys who came for the conference was from New Orleans Seminary. He was a really nice guy, real clean-cut. Perhaps a little overly nice. You know, one of those guys. Also a little bit of a close-speaker. It was a tad off-putting. But during his presentation he talked about how he was into open air preaching. He said he would go down into New Orleans and hit bourbon street and he and his friends from seminary would preach. I thought….hmmm. I’ve never been sure on how I should feel about street-preaching. It gets a very bad rep from tv and a lot of people I talk to are usually pretty skeptical about it. I’m one of those. My first thought about street preachers are those morons yelling at the girls for wearing “short shorts” and listening to “the devil’s music.” Lately it’s been associated with the morons that tell people that God hates gay people.

So, I thought about it though, cause my impression of this guy up to that point was really good. Seemed like a real nice guy and now all of a sudden I see him as a fundamentalist nailing soap-boxes amidst people dressed like flamingos on bourbon street. And then I happened to think about my hero. No, I’m not talking about the hamburglar, I’m talking about Saint Peter. The first sermon in Acts…where was it? Public. Christ’s sermon on the mount was in the open air, cause I’m pretty sure they didn’t have any temples with mountains in them. Paul broke out preaching in the middle of a pagan temple. So, I mean, it’s the only method that they taught back then apparently! Here’s the thing though…they also did A LOT of preaching in the synagogues and the temple. It seems like that was actually their preferred method.

here’s my thoughts about open-air preaching. I think its okay, but not preferable. Most of the time Jesus and the Apostles would preach in the temple or the Synagogue, where people would willingly come to hear a message or to discuss theological matters. And even when you examine Christ’s sermon ion the mount, Peter’s sermon at Pentecost and Paul’s sermon among the Greeks, you’ll find that those who were present were there for the purpose of hearing teaching or debating. These weren’t people simply trying to find a place to go eat, get a smoothie downtown, or have a drink at a bar.

The Gospel needs to be preached to the world, but when it enters the ears of those who are already wishing they weren’t hearing it, what is the likelihood that it is going to impact someone?

What are you guys’ thoughts?

a non-theological question

2008-08-18T23:15:00.002-05:00

Have you ever done anything nice? have you ever believed that what you were doing was the right thing? Next time you do that...stop and think "why am i doing this?" I like to think that i'm a pretty nice guy. And i also like to think that most of the stuff i do is the "right" thing to do. I mean, i'm still deprived and sinful...and an idiot...so i still do a lot of boneheaded things. but most of the time, if i can have time to think about something, i'll do the right thing.

well, today i was driving out to garland. I find myself driving more and more today with the radio turned off. I dont know why. I used to think, when my dad would drive for hours without the radio or any music on, that i'd never be able to do that. but, i am. Its probably just another sign of getting old. as if i needed another sign. I'd shoot father time in the knee right now if i could...just for spite. "give me my hair back, you bad word" is what i'd say when i did it too.

but anyway

As i was driving, i was thinking about a time when i wanted to apologize for something idiotic i had did, and then i got to thinkin about WHY i wanted to apologize. Was i truly sorry for what i had done, or did i simply want to apologize so that this person wouldn't have any kind of animosity against me. see, i'm the kind of guy that if someone doesn't like me...it kills me. even if i dont really like the person very much...i still really want them to like me! I think its kind of a michael scott/george costanza complex. so sometimes, if i know i've done something to wrong a person then i AM sorry. but it may not be because i realize what i did was wrong, but because it hurt the person and i dont want them to not like me.

did any of that make sense?

i guess what i'm thinking, is that maybe, i'm not the only one who does this. Do any of you guys ever finding yourself being nice just so that other people will not dislike you? I mean, you're still a nice person, but maybe your motive is all wrong.

here are the questions i have for all of you intelligent folks.

1) is it okay to be nice to someone, even if you dont care about being a "nice person" but acutally just want everyone else to think you are?

2) is there anything wrong with being nice just so that the other person is happy?

3) what if you did something that was totally within your personality, and most people think that there is nothing wrong with what you did, but you still offended someone. should you apologize to that person? i mean...are you actually sorry that you were only being yourself?

4) if you are a nice person, but you're only nice so that people will like you, how can you change yourself so that you're a nice person SIMPLY because you are.

5) does anything i'm saying make any sense?

doin what i love!

2008-07-22T23:54:00.002-05:00

the past couple of weeks the pastor at my church has been out of town and was crazy enough to trust me with his pulpit.

i LOVE preaching!

so, if anyone's interested, here are links to the sermons i preached through our church website :)

i would LOVE to hear what you guys think. I'm pretty new at the game...so i could use some pointers

here's the sermon for july 13th

and here's the one from july 20th

love you guys.

how bout now?

2008-07-18T02:30:00.002-05:00

Marissa asked me if i have blogged lately...i haven't :( so, i guess i will!

it's a quick one though, filled with random stuff.

1. today i had a bit of a brain poot...and i asked a handicapped man if he had ever been skiing. I'm a fool.

2. I enjoy whirlpools. they make me glad. I enjoy going to them late at night.

3. I am ready for my brother to come back! And even better, my sister is coming with him! we're going to have half the family in texas. thats going to be awesome.

4. If you would like to hear an incredible song...go right now...i mean...RIGHT NOW to my brother's myspace page and listen to the song "before you sleep." or you can go to my myspace page, and you can hear it there. Kid's good at knowing how you feel sometimes. and his other songs are great too!

5. Jesus is amazing. and whats even more amazing is how He shows his love for us. every circumstance is a reason to praise him. I thank God for all the people he's ever brought into my life. I make some crazy stupid decisions sometimes, and the consequences of those decisions are ones i may just have to deal with. Phil. 4:4

blessings to all of you. all of you.

My love language: quoting stuff

2008-06-12T22:18:00.002-05:00

Every once in a while something happens in your life that teaches you a valuable lesson. We spend all of our times in our own individual body of flesh, but it would behoove many of us to actually explain who we are to someone else. So when something happens that makes you say, "wow, that's really me," you have to reflect on it.

Guys quote stuff. that's how we roll. I know it probably gets on you ladies' nerves though. Every now and then you'll find a girl that also likes quoting movies or shows, but rarely would you find one that enjoys it as much as guys do. My friends and I can carry on full conversations without needing an original thought! For example, for many people, if the words "San Diego" come up in a conversation, you're discussing a place. For me and mine, if one of us mentions "San Diego" then chances are someone else is about to tell you exactly what it means in German. (Anchorman)

Until the other night, i just thought this was something we did cause we thought it was funny. But then something happened, something so incredible that I realized this is my love language...quoting random stuff.

I work out in Garland, as a youth intern. Garland is about an hour away, so i spend a lot of money on gas. 4 dollars a gallon is ludicrous by the way. So, I had stopped at a 7-11 just down the road from the church and was pumping gas when several guys came out of the store carrying drinks...big gulps. One of the guys yelled over to his buddy "Big Gulps huh!?" and to him...there came no response. I stood speechless, bewildered, shocked and offended. How could this guy's so called "friends" not dignify so great a movie reference with a response. So i, being the loving man that i am, yelled across the gas station, "WELP! SEE YA LATER!" I received a toasted Big gulp from the young man and a "right on!" My night was made. The guy got in his truck, but instead of driving away he backed up and rolled up to where i was pumping gas and said "Those your skis?" If you dont know by now what i'm quoting, then i'm not sure why you're still reading this. Dumb and dumber, and you would make dumbest.

I knew at that moment that i was going to go into the store and purchase a big gulp. I wasn't even thirsty, as a matter of fact, by the time i was back in fort worth, i felt like my bladder was seconds away from bursting. But it was worth it.

Ladies, i'm sorry, but we quote movies. That's just how we do. And when we respond to your statement with "that's what she said" or "when in rome" instead of a proper response, remember...we do this because we love you, and because we want you to be a part of our life.

so, big gulps huh? alright! welp, see ya later!

What happens when tomorrow never gets here?

2008-06-04T23:06:00.002-05:00

It was brought to my attention, as i was scanning the radio stations tonight looking for one that WASN'T playing commercials, that Ed McMahon (the publishers clearing house guy), is having some mortgage problems. It seems that the guy who used to host star search is facing foreclosure on his million-dollar home. See, theres one lesson to learn, just cause you're rich doesn't mean you're not broke. You're just broke at a higher level. I give Ed McMahon 4 1/2 stars at recovering from a broke neck, and 1 1/2 stars for stewardship. The full story is here.

So if you're waiting on that check from publisher's clearing house...keep waiting.

That brings me to my topic...waiting.

if any of you have seen the new indiana jones movie, there is ONE line in it that stood out to me. That'll probably be the only part that i really remember, since the rest of it was kind of....well mostly stupid. I love indie...but that just wasn't the classic that the old ones are. But anyway, the ONE line was said by this old guy at the very end:

"How much of human life is wasted when we wait?"

Its very true that we spend much of our time anxious about what the future holds. We put off things right now because we know conditions may be more ideal for them later. For example, I've put off working out because I think that if i wait until i have more time then i'll be able to do it better...and then i have more time and i find something else to waste it on.

Gosh, we all do this all the time. We look towards the future for this ideal before we'll let ourselves be happy.

"oh, if only i was out of school and had a SERIOUS job, then i could make some money and be financially secure, everything would be great then!"
or "wow, when i graduate, THEN i'll be able to make an impact in a church."
"oh i'm not the pastor or on staff, so i can't be as effective, but one of these days i WILL be and THEN i'll be effective!"
"if only i could be in a relationship with this ONE PERSON, then everything would be PERFECT and i could get on with my life."
eventually an ancient and homeless old man named mcmahon will show up on my door with a camera crew and a giant fake check!

So we spend HOURS and DAYS and WEEKS and MONTHS and YEARS waiting for conditions to be perfect. And then tragedy happens...things dont turn out exactly the way we envisioned them.

the serious job we wanted fell through
we find out we didn't learn in our classes cause we only wanted to graduate!
you dont get called to a church right away
that one person doesn't have the same dream you do
your finances have fallen into shambles with no end in sight, because the ancient man never showed up on your doorstep.

We keep waiting for tomorrow to get here, because tomorrow is going to be perfect. but what happens when tomorrow never comes? I'm looking back now and seeing that all the time i spent waiting for conditions to be "perfect" made me view my present conditions as bad. We lose so much time that we could have been happy, in ministry, getting closer to friends, content and fulfilled because we're convinced that our present situations are horrible compared to what tomorrow is going to be like. All of the memories that could have been so precious are soured because the future didn't quite turn out the way we had hoped.

Sometimes, I think its true that our lives may never be more wonderful than they are exactly right now. Philippians 4:4-7 tell us to rejoice in the Lord ALWAYS and to be anxious for NOTHING. When we're anxious for tomorrow to be here, then we lose so much of whats valuable about today. Now, i'm not saying that we shouldn't dream or look forward to the future, but we MUST realize that God has placed us in the present, and that He wants for us to rejoice IN THE PRESENT.

Don't put too much stock in tomorrow...you may just forfeit whats beautiful about today.

Goofus and Gallant, in real life.

2008-06-01T03:57:00.004-05:00

(Let me say, as a word of explanation, i sometimes highlight random words, cause they seem to be key to my thought, or because i feel like it'll help you read faster, or cause, i just think it'll make you more interested. Just...thought you may wonder why i highlighted trollop later on.)

As i warned in my first blog, there would be plenty of time to get to know josh earls throughout the course of this blog. Here's your first glimpse. Something should be said about me. I have no conception of normal sleeping habits. I usually get 8 hours of sleep a day. That's just around "average" right? That's what doctors say we should have. Of course, its not necessarily the case that i would get those 8 hours while everyone else is getting theirs. It is often true that I sleep on the wrong side of the clock. Here is another fine example.

I am blogging at 4 in the morning.

Does anybody remember the highlights magazine? It was the little kid magazine that was full of "educational" material and the front and back covers were a "whats different in this picture?" type puzzle. It was filled with jokes and comics and puzzles and crosswords and all sorts of things that helped keep me occupied and kept me from rummaging through the kitchen. Okay, honestly not much kept me from rummaging through the kitchen, but mom hoped it would.

But anyway, highlights had a cartoon that they ran each month called "Goofus and Gallant." It depicted two little boys who were pretty much polar opposites and we, as the children reading the magazine, were to try to imitate the noble character, who was Gallant. Gallant would always do something good, and Goofus (in a true representation of his ill-begotten name) would do the opposite. Even as a kid i remember thinking that Goofus was a horrible person. There was no in-between with the behavior of these two boys. Gallant was incessantly good but when Goofus was bad, he wasn't just "disobedient," he was usually downright evil. For instance, one cartoon may have said "Gallant helps his sister pick up her toys." Now, one would expect to see "Goofus ignores his sister and goes on making a mess." But, instead of this, highlights would take it one step further: "Gallant helps his sister pick up her toys. Goofus breaks all of his sister's toys and then forces her to eat legos." As a child it seemed we had one of two choices, either be perfect, as Gallant is perfect, or imitate the spawn of satan.

I say all that for two reasons. One, i can't sleep, so i might as well say something. Two, I feel like Goofus a lot of times. I mentioned in the first blog that I was not a very pious person. I WANT to be, but i really dont see myself that way. I'm a goofus. Now, that doesn't bother me too much cause honestly, i see a lot more goofuses than gallants. Its when the gallant does come along that i get frustrated.

Consider one of my friends. I won't mention his name, but I will say that he is an absolutely superb fella. I really dont know him that well, but i'll tell you that i look up to him. he's my age (24) but each morning he wakes up at the buttcrack of dawn and goes for a jog. a MILES-long jog. in contrast to that, goofus (me) is lucky to see the a.m. unless i just haven't went to sleep yet! This same fella, we'll call him gallant, takes time to post a devotional that he has written on his website for the whole world to see (and its quite a successful website). Many times, I'm lucky to do my own devotional! He works and I know for a fact that he makes time for AT LEAST 20 hours a week of personal evangelism, all this on top of being a seminary student.

My gosh, he really is an admirable guy. And i'm not saying all this to set him on a pedestal. If he reads this and realizes i'm talking about him, then i hope he feels a bit proud of himself, but I know that he won't become prideful. He's a man of God. I'm writing this to ask a question:

What about us goofuses?

Not everyone wakes up and goes jogging in the morning. Many of us feel good about ourselves when we wake up in time to shave. Very few of us have a website that has taken thousands of hits and has reached other nations before we're too old to remain on our parents' insurance. But does this mean that we're not as usable by God?

I've got to admit. I don't have an answer for these questions. I'm not going to denounce those who live a very pious life and say that they are "goody-two-shoes" and that God only asks for us to try. I'm not going to say that...because I believe God doesn't ask us to just try. God asks us to succeed. Jesus said in Matthew 5:48 to be perfect, just as God is perfect. Thats a tall order. I'd dare say that our case study hasn't even reached that level of perfection. (please dont be mad at me gallant!)

but, for me, the guy who doesn't wear a suit to class, that doesn't make straight A's, that doesn't always read all of his assigned reading, that sometimes forgets to do his devotional, that maybe plays too many video games...how should i react? Is the only way to be perfect just like God is perfect to be more like my friend that i've described? Should we do all the things that the church or the denomination says a Christian should do to be perfect? Or can we still honor God when we choose to sleep in, play one more song on guitar hero, or not darken the church's door 8 times a week? (thats twice on sunday) Is there hope for Goofus?

I dont know....that's why i'm asking you.

Please dont feel like i'm attacking those who are more like Gallant and do the things I dont. I admire you, i really do. I just haven't attained to that level of gallantry. I'd say Jesus was a Gallant. He was perfect, and God used Him FAR more than any of the Goofuses in the Bible. So, i'm not saying that we who aren't perfect shouldn't try to be.

With that said, here's my opinion: God used a lot of people in the Bible who were Goofuses. David was an adulterer, Solomon was a womanizer, Samson was an idiot (for lack a better one-word description), Rahab was a trollop, Paul was a persecutor of the church, and Peter was a coward. I think that God can use us abundantly even if we don't live perfect lives.

My problem is that it seems like the church, and those within it, don't see the value of Goofuses. We're creative, we're ambitious, we know what people like and can help meet people's needs. however, a lot of times we get passed up for the Gallants. I see it happen at school a lot, a handful of folks get much of the attention because they seem to be more...investable. (i know, its not a word...but seemed right to use) Those of us who are walking around, warts and all, who don't seem to be as perfect as everyone else, often feel a bit left out. I can't talk theology as affluently as others. I'm really not even sure that i used the word "affluently" correctly there! I probably wouldn't look as good on the front page of school website as someone else either. And thats just fiiiiine with me! But hey, us goofuses are going to be pastors and teacher and youth ministers and counselors and everything else too. Stop letting Gallant hog up all the attention, and cool jobs on campus, and neat-o chances to make announcements in chapel. I dont want to pass up anyone who has legitimately earned something, but I think it'd be cool to be considered. Okay, i'm done with that spill. Oh, and i'm not tryin to dog the school. I love my school, I love the people who run the school. I dont have to agree with everything people do to love them. But i think its okay to be honest with them.

So lay off Goofus. Unless He tries to make his sister eat legos again. Thats wrong. What a waste of legos.

An introduction would be in order.

2008-05-31T06:01:00.000-05:00

My gosh. For the second morning in a row i have woke up extremely early and had the same weird desire on my mind, to blog. Now, its not unusual that i would wake up with a desire at an unusual time. For instance, two days ago I woke up at a quarter to 5 with the desire to eat some cereal. I did not refuse myself then as I zombied into the kitchen and made a bowl of fruity pebbles. Why should i refuse myself when i desire to do something as unusual as blogging? So here we are, due to horrible sleeping habits, the internet is further encumbered by the ramblings of one more insomniac.

Its true, I've blogged before. Its been many moons, but if you're interested, you can find my previous blog here. This newer blog will be equally as light-hearted but hopefully a bit wiser. Probably not though. I'm 24 years old, and as one of my hero's in the Dostoevsky classic The Idiot said, "I know for my self that I have lived less than others and that I know less of life than any one. Perhaps I can talk very queerly at times..."

There will be plenty of time to get to know josh earls over the course of this blog's future. However, that all depends on how bored i get, or how many times these strange early mornings strike me. Who knows, this may be the last time you ever hear from earl plural. (get it? earls=earl plural? yeah...sorry)

But here's what to expect: I like to try and be funny, that doesn't mean i'm funny, but i get lucky every now and then. I usually start writing before I really know what I'm talking about, but by the time i'm finished, its all come full circle somehow. I'll try to give each blog some purpose or goal. Some common theme of some sort. But...no promises.

I love Jesus, very much. He's given me my life, and its His grace that gives me hope. As a matter of fact, thats what i plan on doing with my life, serving him. However, I'll go ahead and admit, i'm not a super pious fella. Its not because I don't want to be, or because i dont think you should be. On the contrary, I wish I was! But hey, we'll talk about that another time.

So, should i go on my first spill? Nah. I'll do that later. I've quenched my initial thirst to blog and I'll come back to it later, after I make up for the sleep this thirst has cost me.